I have really been a rut the last few months, I guess it all started when I hit that deer on the way home to Drumheller, and that car sat there for months not getting used cause we had no money, to add to that I owe for a tablet that I got from my work…and I hate owing, especially for things that I simply cannot pay for.

I hope that this rut does not make my wife or kids (who are too young to know anything about it anyway) feel that I blame them for any of it, cause I don’t.  I just have not had any energy, sometimes I have almost no desire throughout the day which makes my memory really poor and getting things done around the house, at work, or for my own freelance work almost impossible.  I guess that makes it a good thing that muscle memory gets me through most days to wash the dishes, help customers at work, and other various tasks.

I was showing a friend some of my pictures at work and I ran across this one…

Amy & Michael 042 

I immediately felt better for quite a few moments, remembering my wedding day and some of my best friends that any one could ever ask for.  Devin (in the red shirt) was my best friend for most of elementary school, Thomas S. (in the blue tie) has been one of my greatest friends from Jr. High up to now, who got me off my butt and out and about to experience life and has always been there to give sound advice.  Big Tom (as we called him since there were two Tom’s) has also been there since Jr. High and we have experienced a lot together as we scoured all of American Fork, Utah.  Ryan (in the pink tie and glasses) has been a great friend that I keep losing touch with (probably my own fault for not trying to stay connected with him), he is a really intelligent guy that I had a lot of deep conversation with.

I could say a whole lot more about each one of these friends…but I don’t want them reading this and having some kind of competition over who meant what to me.  But each is an amazing person who it has been (as still is I hope for all of them) my privilege to call friends and confidants.  Even though things seem bleak and lonely for me right now I have these friends, and that to the world I am not just the forgetful, tired, desperate shell of a person that I have felt like for the last few months.

Thanks to all of you for being in my life and giving me a much needed “pick me up” today, I hope you are doing well and are finding real happiness in life.

Now I just hope they don’t make too much fun of me if and when they ever read this!

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