Have you ever been to Thanksgiving dinner…no scratch that, Christmas dinner (in my experience they have always been better) and wanted a little of everything?  But at the same time you are hungry so you have to satisfy you gut and then worry about getting a little of everything.  Of course you can’t fit everything but you try and then you are in a food coma for a week, which around Christmas time is usually okay.

I am finding myself in a predicament where there are too many good things on the table.  The biggest problem is that each one demands (or I perceive that it demands) exclusivity.  I am mostly talking about gainful employment.  On one hand I can work a job that pays a little but I could live there until I die (if I always do enough to warrant staying there of course), and on the other I can go do Oil Field work that is crazy sometimes and dead sometimes.  Also I have my software consulting, that on a good day can make me around $300 in that day…but that is a good day, and thus far that had been about once a month, otherwise in my consulting I get a few $25/hr gigs and make about $100 a week.

For the job I have to not focus on outside things, the Oil Field I have to be away from the family for weeks or possibly months at a time and the consulting I have to do a lot of marketing on my own time but think that it will pay off once the ball is rolling.

I had the idea that I should position myself as strictly a contractor with promising no more than a month in advance of my time and talents at a job, then at the end of whatever the contract is I can choose something else or re-up a contract.  I was thinking no more than a week but I really doubt that people would go for that.

I have heard it said that good is the worse enemy of best, we will often do just good enough but never excel.  But another problem exists among perfectionist that they never move things along or do anything because it is not perfect.  My biggest problem is that I never want to burn a bridge, and that locks me down pretty tight, it is odd how you have to go back to something, like a gas station job where I have gone back twice now, but I have always left on good terms so it was easy to go back to.

Ambition maybe a problem too, although it is the thing that I like most about myself.  I don’t want to ‘just get by’, I don’t want to make payments all my life, having any debt at all destroys me inside…and this was long before I became a zealot to the Dave Ramsey system.  I guess this is just life that we all have to wade through and figure out.

Is anyone else having issues like this?  Let me know, I think it would make for some interesting conversation!

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