Tag Archive: debt


Fear of Risk

I keep seeing hard working, intelligent people all around me with good ideas and neat talents but still struggle with contentment, money, and just overall life (myself included).

I was listening to a 48 days podcast that touched on fear and risk…and it hit me. We all take too little risk, or better yet we are just unwilling to risk anything for the things that we want.

There is a conundrum rattling around in my mind about time being wasted on busy work and how that relates to services where people are paid to standby for the convenience of others.

The other part of the conundrum is the saving up and then doing what I’ve always wanted or finally taking risk with persistence to reach goals and dreams.

Early in my marriage my wife and I decided to get out of debt, listened to Dave Ramsey for years and years. Finally reached that last February…  I am concerned that it took just under 10 years. The majority of my 20’s was spent digging out of debt aquire in the first year or two of this decade of my age, and that was only to the tune of around $40,000. I cringe to think that if I waited to save for a down payment on a house or have an emergency fund large enough to take big risks I will be 40…

The problem there is I am trying to make a risk not a risk…and risk wasting away the years of my life not benefiting and living in fear and doubt.

The problem goes on and on, doing something stupid with no plan and no income would be stupid  but pays off now and again and whatnot.

What risks are you taking and how are they working out?

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Focus on Steps

I made a rather large goal shortly after becoming debt free. $40,000 in savings by December 15, 2014… This has been eating me up as of late, especially since we bought a new vehicle (2005 Chevy Suburban) which ate up the nice cushion of money that we did have.

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As I was wallowing in torment over this I was reading others blogs from feedly and got some good insight. Insight about making goals smaller, more reachable or really just working on the smaller goals that will lead up to the larger one.

This eased my burden and I decided to worry about the closer things and than worry about the large hairy goal later.

So now I will focus on getting around $2,000 for repairs on this newer vehicle and then $2,000 for our trip to Utah in July. That takes my problem from $40,000 $4,000 only a tenth of the size!

Now granted I still need to do something extravegant to get that surplus money. But it is not such a mighty beast to vanquish!

Have you made a massive hairy goal that you need to step back from and attack something smaller?

The Most Frustrating Thing

I have recently become debt free, have started to save thousands of dollars and  got a promotion at work.  Things have been going really well for me and I am elated that I have reached many goals that I have set not too long ago.   Yet I am still frustrated internally.  I am fretful all the time.  When there are things to be done and deadlines I feel trapped and anxious, when there is free time I get fretful again thinking I should be doing something.  Upon excessive thinking and driving all over the place to relax I have found what may be the cause of my frustration.

I have been thinking of a post like this for a few weeks now.  I keep putting it off or rather just didn’t make myself do it until now.  That is my biggest problem.  There was something inside my mind, something that I should do or write and I don’t.  The longer I don’t the more I regret it.  Then I eventually lose it.

After writing goals and deadlines, or putting the date on ideas that I want to do, I become sickened by how long ago I had an idea and when I finally see that note again a year or more has flew by.  Now granted I am not doing poorly, from the first statement above you can tell that things are going really well, but still the frustration lingers.

I started this post on my tablet one night and then the missionaries from my church came for a visit.  These are always great cause I rant and rave about whatever topic comes up till I am blue in the face, and on this visit I spoke of all the controversies that inundate Facebook and how no one listens and no one cares, so it is just spinning wheels.  Then I went on to say, “if people really wanted to improve the world they would improve themselves, they would start in their own home and become an amazing father, or an amazing mother.  They would take care of themselves, get out of debt, figure out how to earn more money…and by being their best they would improve their situations, their lives and thus improve the world and later have real ability to help people around them become better and more fulfilled…thus improving the world even more so!”

I thought this was a great breakthrough, while this was in my mind for the longest time I did not have the words.  As I thought more about it and how I could enact on my own sermon the reason for my constant frustration became a little clearer.  The most frustrating thing is that we are capable, and know that we are capable of so much.  That we can have what we want and others can too…BUT we don’t cause we constantly allow small failures, habits and addictions to slowly ruin our lives.

Think about it, have you even decided to go to the gym, you are driving there and at the last turn don’t make that tiny effort to turn the wheel and you drive past and just waste that time or go back home and watch TV?  Have you tried quick drinking caffeine and rebound because you were just bored? These, among many other examples, fill our lives and then we wonder why we are tired and anxious.

I propose that it is just not the bad habits and failures that drag us down so low, but that we know on some level that we could have done better.  How scary it is to think that I would wake up at 40, 10 years from now and had done more of the same from age 20 to 30.  That hundreds of thousands of little choices buried me in the same mediocre person that I have been.

I don’t need to get more tasks done in a day, I just have to make the right decision in the right moment.  No more effort will be required than if I had made wrong choice, but often things are worse off if do.  I save nothing by neglecting a work out.  You may argue time but really how is that hour used that day that you did not work out?  Pay attention…you will find that you are cheating yourself…over and over and over again.  And THAT is frustrating! 

Trying to have patience

After reading a few blog posts about patience and how we are the microwave society etc etc… I decided I will try to practice a little more patience.

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This picture of my daughter Chloe expresses exactly how I feel when I finally accept that I must be patient…

I was transferring ownership of two of my Android apps for $1200, and I was very excited to apply this toward the credit card that is almost paid off.

Of course there were hiccups, Google had to manually transfer so that took a day, then they transferred them to the wrong account…that took another two days to get one in the right account and another day on top of that to get the second app in the right account. And then waiting for the buyer to notice and get the money sent to my Paypal.

And even while writing this I am waiting 3-4 business days for the money to be transferred from Paypal to my bank…then…when my wife send the money from the bank to pay the credit card, that will basically take a week (I think visa set it up to try and trick people into late fees but that is neither here nor there).

For the part of this process that is done I had many internal impatient fits. I wanted to email Google a hundred times until they did their end right away, I wanted to take all my savings and throw it at the credit card, I wanted what I wanted right now! 

But patience paid off, I still have savings and I was able to put the extra income towards the credit card.  I am still wildly impatient but I keep it in check knowing that acting hastily only makes things worse.

How do you deal with times where you know you must exercise patience? 

The $50 Deal

Every month in my family budget my wife and I get so much blow money.  This month (and many other months I am sure) I will be trying something different.  I want to pay $50 dollars to someone out there who is willing to help me find side work.

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I have a credit card that I am absolutely sick of and want to pay off and then destroy the card.  In order to do that I need to make some extra money.

The deal is that if you find me a gig or a temp job that I can make at least $500 in week from, then I will pay you $50 for the finder’s fee.

Certain criteria are needed for the gig:

*  Something that I can do locally in or around the Drumheller area…
OR
*  Over the internet such as building a website or computer consulting.

*  My day job can be sporadic, if I get a call or have to work late I cannot get around that.

*  I would have to make at least $500 in a week for you to get the finder’s fee.

*  No MLM (Multi Level Marketing), Pyramid schemes, or other such things.

*  Payment for the finders fee comes after I have obtained the work and earned $500 or know that I will earn at least $500,

*  If you, yourself, are providing a gig I will gladly give 10% off off whatever we agree upon.

*  I will gladly accept smaller paying gigs but the finder fee will be reduced, such as $10 for a $100 gig $20 for a $200 gig etc.

*  I can turn down any gig for any reason.

To get a feeling for what I can provide you may check out my resume here.

It takes Courage to Blog!

I just purchased and have been furiously reading Michael Hyatts book “Platform”, it has an overwhelming amount of great information about blogging and social media, but something really struck me and has been resonating in me the last few days:

“If we are going to create wow experiences, we must become courageous. This is a personal, psychological bridge we need to cross. What we want to create—that wow experience—is on the other side of the ravine. There’s no other way to get there from here.”

Hyatt, Michael (2012-05-22). Platform: Get Noticed in a Noisy World (Kindle Locations 634-636). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition.

I thought that was fairly neat as I read, then I continued on and the usually fears cropped up:

* I should be doing something else…
* I should stop reading and look for my lost bluetooth…
* Doing the things in this book will take too long, so why bother…
* Go get a real job and just deal with it…

This is the best way that I can put some of the fears into words, but really it is a dreadful feeling that just wants to deter me from doing ANYTHING.  But this quote has really helped me, it pointed out that there would have to be some courage involved!  That being said, there would be fears to overcome, inaction to defeat, and sacrifices to be made if I want to get to where I want to be.

The worse fear is the future projection of failure, I have at least a good two solid times (that I can still remember clearly) being in a situation of absolute horror, bills were due, no money was coming in, the job I had at the time was shaky or I was unemployed.  The feelings I have had at those times resurface just long enought to say “Don’t go for it, get somewhere safe, keep low, keep quiet, don’t get noticed, they can’t hit what they can’t see…” a terrible mindset and a perfect path to staying mediocre.

I have many ideas that come to my mind and excite my whole being, but I almost never act on them, here is another impressive quote from Hyatts book:

“Listen to your heart. Most of us have spent a lifetime ignoring—or even suppressing—our intuition. I don’t know if this is a product of modern rationalism or American pragmatism. Regardless, I believe intuition is the map to buried treasure. It is not infallible, but neither is our reason. And it can point us in the right direction. We need to pay attention to this inner voice.”

Hyatt, Michael (2012-05-22). Platform: Get Noticed in a Noisy World (Kindle Locations 682-685). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition.

The biggest thing is that listen in this sense means to ACT.  To do, if my heart and mind and spirit or whatever is telling me to do a video blog, then I should DO IT.  This has been a tough one for me and I still have not got it started, I just dunno what to say on the camera or how to act.  Courage, I need it really bad!

So I am asking you, how do you build your courage?

Too Many Good Things on the Table

Have you ever been to Thanksgiving dinner…no scratch that, Christmas dinner (in my experience they have always been better) and wanted a little of everything?  But at the same time you are hungry so you have to satisfy you gut and then worry about getting a little of everything.  Of course you can’t fit everything but you try and then you are in a food coma for a week, which around Christmas time is usually okay.

I am finding myself in a predicament where there are too many good things on the table.  The biggest problem is that each one demands (or I perceive that it demands) exclusivity.  I am mostly talking about gainful employment.  On one hand I can work a job that pays a little but I could live there until I die (if I always do enough to warrant staying there of course), and on the other I can go do Oil Field work that is crazy sometimes and dead sometimes.  Also I have my software consulting, that on a good day can make me around $300 in that day…but that is a good day, and thus far that had been about once a month, otherwise in my consulting I get a few $25/hr gigs and make about $100 a week.

For the job I have to not focus on outside things, the Oil Field I have to be away from the family for weeks or possibly months at a time and the consulting I have to do a lot of marketing on my own time but think that it will pay off once the ball is rolling.

I had the idea that I should position myself as strictly a contractor with promising no more than a month in advance of my time and talents at a job, then at the end of whatever the contract is I can choose something else or re-up a contract.  I was thinking no more than a week but I really doubt that people would go for that.

I have heard it said that good is the worse enemy of best, we will often do just good enough but never excel.  But another problem exists among perfectionist that they never move things along or do anything because it is not perfect.  My biggest problem is that I never want to burn a bridge, and that locks me down pretty tight, it is odd how you have to go back to something, like a gas station job where I have gone back twice now, but I have always left on good terms so it was easy to go back to.

Ambition maybe a problem too, although it is the thing that I like most about myself.  I don’t want to ‘just get by’, I don’t want to make payments all my life, having any debt at all destroys me inside…and this was long before I became a zealot to the Dave Ramsey system.  I guess this is just life that we all have to wade through and figure out.

Is anyone else having issues like this?  Let me know, I think it would make for some interesting conversation!

I taught four people from a large company all about PowerPoint 2010 and Publisher 2010.  And right at this moment I feel exhausted, like I just ran or got in a fight.  The two days prior, I have been anxious over it and studying everything I can to make sure that it would go all right.

I got 4’s and 5’s out of a 5 on most of my reviews, and I could tell that they learned quite a bit about PowerPoint…(maybe not so much about Publisher).

While I am exhausted, I am also really excited, it was a good money earning day and I grew in terms of being able to present to small crowds and learned more about Microsoft’s Office programs.  I am hoping to do many more of these and that it will ultimately make me debt free this year.  Though I hope not to get as exhausted every time or I will only be able to do one of these a week!

Ears Irrigated

I got my ears irrigated today, I am one of the lucky 1 out of 4 that has a genetic disposition to produce the stickiest of ear wax that nothing short of going to the doctor and having them flush it out will do the trick.

That being said I feel a million times greater! My throat still feels spiky and I am still annoyed that this head cold thing has lasted almost two freaking weeks, but now that I am on the mend I am realizing all the great opportunities around me! There is so much work to do that I dunno if I should hunker down at the computer for hours or run around. Programming gigs, consulting gigs, second job, and selling!  Then of course you have to consider being a dad and a husband and the wife would like to sleep in once in a while too and needs a break from the kids from time to time.  So I am going to try and be as active as I can the rest of this week.  I say week cause I might feel overloaded if I think farer ahead than that.

The biggest thing is that I can’t get overwhelmed…just one thing at a time and whatever thing I am working on gets my entire focus. Well here I go!

I am so gun ho and desperate to work my way out of my mess.  You just saw the post with the Building Wealth mind map and you can see that I am stretching as far as I possibly can.  Today, after being at my day job, I started my dish washing job at a small restaurant in Drumheller.  It pays $10/hr and I was hoping to work from 5pm to 11pm…but instead it is from 5pm to 8pm, so about $30 or so bucks a day I can expect from this gig.

Then as my little shift there drew to a close I got a text from the lady that bought my laptop saying she wanted to refund it cause her Windows Vista, with every gadget and everyone auto starting spamming application that you could think of, hard drive that she put in runs hot.  I usually would say “as is deal with it.”  But in a small rural town, where I will see her every other third day…I can only envision misery for myself…so I will refund the computer for $300…but hey after 10 days of washing dishes I can make that up.

So I was all excited and now I am all down in the dumps like.  And I promised myself no Starcraft since it wastes so much of my time (my vow is only until May 11th…), and I really don’t want to waste time watching TV.  I dunno what to do, I want to figure out how I am gonna make more money and get out of the mess that I am in, then I am gonna figure out how to move back to where I was before…yeah the pride will be hurt, but there are at least three jobs I could walk right into, and I could have my hand gun back on my hip and my best friend and many good friends are around there.  The grass is greener syndrome, that is the biggest reason I am sucking it up here and just going for it, that and I have to have some money if I am to move…and I act to rash and have cognitive distortions…so that is my day and night, thanks!