Tag Archive: frustration

The Most Frustrating Thing

I have recently become debt free, have started to save thousands of dollars and  got a promotion at work.  Things have been going really well for me and I am elated that I have reached many goals that I have set not too long ago.   Yet I am still frustrated internally.  I am fretful all the time.  When there are things to be done and deadlines I feel trapped and anxious, when there is free time I get fretful again thinking I should be doing something.  Upon excessive thinking and driving all over the place to relax I have found what may be the cause of my frustration.

I have been thinking of a post like this for a few weeks now.  I keep putting it off or rather just didn’t make myself do it until now.  That is my biggest problem.  There was something inside my mind, something that I should do or write and I don’t.  The longer I don’t the more I regret it.  Then I eventually lose it.

After writing goals and deadlines, or putting the date on ideas that I want to do, I become sickened by how long ago I had an idea and when I finally see that note again a year or more has flew by.  Now granted I am not doing poorly, from the first statement above you can tell that things are going really well, but still the frustration lingers.

I started this post on my tablet one night and then the missionaries from my church came for a visit.  These are always great cause I rant and rave about whatever topic comes up till I am blue in the face, and on this visit I spoke of all the controversies that inundate Facebook and how no one listens and no one cares, so it is just spinning wheels.  Then I went on to say, “if people really wanted to improve the world they would improve themselves, they would start in their own home and become an amazing father, or an amazing mother.  They would take care of themselves, get out of debt, figure out how to earn more money…and by being their best they would improve their situations, their lives and thus improve the world and later have real ability to help people around them become better and more fulfilled…thus improving the world even more so!”

I thought this was a great breakthrough, while this was in my mind for the longest time I did not have the words.  As I thought more about it and how I could enact on my own sermon the reason for my constant frustration became a little clearer.  The most frustrating thing is that we are capable, and know that we are capable of so much.  That we can have what we want and others can too…BUT we don’t cause we constantly allow small failures, habits and addictions to slowly ruin our lives.

Think about it, have you even decided to go to the gym, you are driving there and at the last turn don’t make that tiny effort to turn the wheel and you drive past and just waste that time or go back home and watch TV?  Have you tried quick drinking caffeine and rebound because you were just bored? These, among many other examples, fill our lives and then we wonder why we are tired and anxious.

I propose that it is just not the bad habits and failures that drag us down so low, but that we know on some level that we could have done better.  How scary it is to think that I would wake up at 40, 10 years from now and had done more of the same from age 20 to 30.  That hundreds of thousands of little choices buried me in the same mediocre person that I have been.

I don’t need to get more tasks done in a day, I just have to make the right decision in the right moment.  No more effort will be required than if I had made wrong choice, but often things are worse off if do.  I save nothing by neglecting a work out.  You may argue time but really how is that hour used that day that you did not work out?  Pay attention…you will find that you are cheating yourself…over and over and over again.  And THAT is frustrating! 


Trying to have patience

After reading a few blog posts about patience and how we are the microwave society etc etc… I decided I will try to practice a little more patience.


This picture of my daughter Chloe expresses exactly how I feel when I finally accept that I must be patient…

I was transferring ownership of two of my Android apps for $1200, and I was very excited to apply this toward the credit card that is almost paid off.

Of course there were hiccups, Google had to manually transfer so that took a day, then they transferred them to the wrong account…that took another two days to get one in the right account and another day on top of that to get the second app in the right account. And then waiting for the buyer to notice and get the money sent to my Paypal.

And even while writing this I am waiting 3-4 business days for the money to be transferred from Paypal to my bank…then…when my wife send the money from the bank to pay the credit card, that will basically take a week (I think visa set it up to try and trick people into late fees but that is neither here nor there).

For the part of this process that is done I had many internal impatient fits. I wanted to email Google a hundred times until they did their end right away, I wanted to take all my savings and throw it at the credit card, I wanted what I wanted right now! 

But patience paid off, I still have savings and I was able to put the extra income towards the credit card.  I am still wildly impatient but I keep it in check knowing that acting hastily only makes things worse.

How do you deal with times where you know you must exercise patience? 

48 Days Chapter 3 Questions

1.  In today’s rapidly changing work environment, is it realistic to expect a job to provide more than just a paycheck?

I know for someone who is successful the answer should be yes, you should expect more than a paycheck, but there have been many occasions that the paycheck is the only thing going for the job.  It is odd though that I got more satisfaction from my gas station jobs than from many others…

2.  Have you ever had a sense of calling in your life?  How did you hear that calling?

At times I have, right now I do not feel very called, just treading water, doing just enough to get by.  Some days I feel motivated and others, just plain sleepy.

3.  Does God call only a few people?

No he calls everyone, but he knows that many will not heed the call, or even know the call when it comes. I think he would be please if people are trying to heed said call even if they are not supposedly successful.

4.  Is it reasonable to expect our work to be part of the fulfillment of out calling?

It is reasonable, and if anyone expects any fulfillment in their life they will absolutely have to tie it to their work, work takes up the majority of your day, and even if you have time at night, your energy and intelligence has been burned up to some degree throughout the day.  It is not just reasonable it is mandatory!

5.  Do you currently have a job, a career, or a vocation?

I don’t really know, often it feels like a job, but I am glad to get the experience of ordering from vendors and managing other business aspects that I would have never got to do in the city. 

6.  What does success mean for you this year?

Finally an easy one!  Success will be defined by getting out of debt, that is the one goal for 2012, to be debt free, I am ramping up for the summer, will work 4, 5 or 6 jobs if I have to.  I don’t have much debt, but it is kicking my butt left and right.  Easiest word for me to define this year will be success.

7.  Are you where you thought you’d be at this stage in life?


8.  Do you go home at night with a sense of meaning, purpose, and accomplishment?

Most often not really….if that makes any sense.  I often stay up late, writing or playing Starcraft 2…or making and Android or working on something that I think will increase my income for my family and I.

9.  If you want different results next year, what will you change in what you are doing now?

I think I need to change those things now anyhow, but I will have to stop drinking so much soda, and go to bed early and get up, also I will have to scout for second jobs during my lunch break.