Tag Archive: stress


Focus on Steps

I made a rather large goal shortly after becoming debt free. $40,000 in savings by December 15, 2014… This has been eating me up as of late, especially since we bought a new vehicle (2005 Chevy Suburban) which ate up the nice cushion of money that we did have.

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As I was wallowing in torment over this I was reading others blogs from feedly and got some good insight. Insight about making goals smaller, more reachable or really just working on the smaller goals that will lead up to the larger one.

This eased my burden and I decided to worry about the closer things and than worry about the large hairy goal later.

So now I will focus on getting around $2,000 for repairs on this newer vehicle and then $2,000 for our trip to Utah in July. That takes my problem from $40,000 $4,000 only a tenth of the size!

Now granted I still need to do something extravegant to get that surplus money. But it is not such a mighty beast to vanquish!

Have you made a massive hairy goal that you need to step back from and attack something smaller?

I was washing dishes tonight at my second job thinking about how scary it is that I am not doing well at sales in my first job.  I am absolutely sick about it, and I really don’t want to have to face the boss.  It is not that he is gonna do anything terrible to me, I just have this weird mental deficiency that I think the world is going to end if something unpleasant happens.  I was washing dishes and I had to trick my freak out gland (not really a gland but some sort of parasite and has attached itself to my heart), that there was nothing to freak out about, I keep telling myself, “I’m not afraid, what’s the worse that can happen?  I’m not afraid.”  Then I realize that I really am terrified!

Why am I so fearful?  What is it that I am afraid of?  How is it that I can think that everything hinges on a single job?  When I am calmed down I can ask myself these questions, but if I let myself continue to ask more and more along these lines the freakout gland gets a rush of ‘freakosine’, swells up and makes my heart work ten times harder!

I am actually doing pretty well, I got a bunch more classes on computer programs to teach (a little stressful that I have to make the curriculum and then teach in front of a small group…), I have the money to get the MS Office suite that I need, and we are all caught up on bills for this month.  I am open and honest with my wife about what is going on and she (I am fairly sure) is open and honest with me about how she feels and what we can feasibly do with what we have.

I am assuming that a part of it is because I am sick and my throat has been in a lot of pain the last week, and now my ears are clogged with my genetic ‘stickier than most’ ear wax and everything seems like I am watching a boring movie that I have to pro actively participate in.  I was fairly excited about a marketing idea that I thought might turn the tables, but the boss is not for it at all, so that is a little stressful as well.

This is one of the reasons that I am so adamant about getting out of debt, so that the parasite on my heart may be removed once and for all!  Then I can say with confidence that “I am not afraid!”   I think I will try and find some scriptures on this matter, I am sure there are some good ones!

I Feel ‘Wroughted’ Upon

In the Book of Mormon 1st Nephi 13:12 it says

“12 And I looked and beheld a man among the Gentiles, who was separated from the seed of my brethren by the many waters; and I beheld the Spirit of God, that it came down and awrought upon the man; and he went forth upon the many waters, even unto the seed of my brethren, who were in the promised land.”

This is supposed to be Christopher Columbus who sold over to the America.  I have always wondered about how that all went down, yeah he went for one reason and was suppose to go to another place and ended up going to a whole new world.  The more you know about that historical account the more you know that he overcame so many odds and fought so hard to make that trip.  From the scripture above you can see that God had a hand in it as well!

Lately, this last week especially, I have been having little anxiety attacks, pining for more opportunities and more work! I want to do more, more, more! In the midnight hour mo…..well you know what I mean.  I know that I am capable of so much but yet nothing is happening, I have a dozen things that I think are in motion and none of them are producing any results.

Listening to my motivational podcast and reading the same in books is now driving me nuts, it is time to act not be acted upon.  Time to leave the cave, kill something and drag it home!  Computer programming, painting, babysitting, oil changes, anything of which I am competent I want to be doing from the moment I wake up till late into the night!

Please let me know how you handle such a strong unfulfilled drive in your own life!